Short stops
by Pilotofmymind
Summary: A collection of drabbles/one-shots about The Strike Team mostly slash/mostly Lem and Ronnie ratings vary from T-R
1. S4x05: I love these busts

"I love these busts." Ronnie was grinning as he pushed the 1-niner into the backseat, "Something" he slammed the door, and turned toward Lem, resting his hand on the butt of his gun, "good always happens." He stood still for a moment, looking at Lem over the top of his sunglasses; he almost didn't-he almost pretended he didn't want to, but he winked at Lem; and Lem sort of smiled; not quite; and before Ronnie could push the issue at hand-the issue they both refused to acknowledge, the issue they acted as if didn't exist-Lem turned, and walked away.

It was difficult for him to understand what was going on; ever since the night that he and Lem had-… connected, things had been different; things had been awkward. Lem didn't call him; Lem didn't visit him; Lem had transferred out. Lem had gone (_gone-gone-he was long gone; and there was no getting him back now_).

It took a bit of self-control not to reach out after Lem; but he managed, and he watched the other man walk away; and he knew they wouldn't get a moment alone; not like this. He needed to see Lem; talk to him; he needed, he realized to be with him. He just needed him.

And yet; he watched him walk away.


	2. S4: Just

"Just" Ronnie was breathing a little heavier than he should be, and Vic was a little suspicious of why; he hadn't opened the door yet, but he was close to doing so; but the breathless way in which Ronnie had spoken gave him cause to pause, "touch me-oh!" there was a soft moan, and Vic raised a brow, glancing around the hall to ensure no one was watching him. "Please-_please!_" He sounded so desperate; and Vic had never heard (okay, well, once; but he had just had the side of his face burnt off then) Ronnie sound that desperate.

"Stop making me do this!" was that… Lem? He heard Ronnie's breath hitch, and another moan; what exactly were they doing in there? Ronnie sort of laughed, and there was a noise, it sounded like one of them had slammed the other into the wall; "I don't want to do this anymore." His voice didn't sound too convincing,

"Don't." Ronnie gasped, and Vic heard something hit the floor; sounded like a badge, "Lie to me. You want this-you w-_want me!_" startled Vic moved back away from the door; what kind of thing was that to say? It implied that they were… _together_; it implied a lot of things, and Vic wasn't sure he was entirely interested in finding out what those things were.

"God-no I don't, Ronnie!" Lem's voice sounded whiny; like he wanted to say something but he was keeping himself from saying it. Something like the truth, Vic thought wryly. But this time the moan Vic heard was definitely Lem's. "R-Ronnie-" he choked off, and Vic heard him slam his hand into the wall; he didn't have to imagine too hard to figure out what was going on in there right now.


	3. S7x13: Calm

It can't help but run through his mind, as he sits in what was once his favorite place to be-what was once the best place to be; _is there something wrong with me?_

For surely there is something wrong with him? Surely there has to be something wrong with him if it has taken him until now to cry; until now to mourn the death-deaths of his friends-friend. He probably should have closed the door; but he couldn't bring himself to get up-to breathe without hurting.

It's all over now, is all he can think; everything is going to be okay now. Things have settled; and the tide will never rise on him again. And though he knows this, though he knows that finally-_finally now that it is too late-finally now that he doesn't need it-finally-finally-finally_-things are calm; collected; fixed, somehow he expects something to happen.

Somehow he can't really let himself believe that this is happening; that he is free; that things can rest where they left them-_somehow he doesn't believe that he can let laying dogs lie_. He doesn't feel free. He hasn't for years; and he doubts he ever will again.

"_Ronnie!_"

Ah; the calm before the storm.


	4. S3x15: Gone

He has been sitting on the couch, holding this beer for forty minutes. He hasn't been paying attention to the television; but he has been looking at his cellphone, where it sits on the table; where he tossed it when he got home. His anger from earlier has vanished; and he doesn't know how to feel now; what to think; how to handle this whole situation. Because things shouldn't have happened like this; and he shouldn't be sitting here alone; and there should be another beer on the table.

And that phone should be ringing.

But he isn't sure he should expect it to, because things are wrong, so wrong; and he doesn't know how to fix them, or if he can; he knows only that he wants to; and that he misses his friend, his lover; his everything; and he doesn't understand why he is always letting little things like-_two million eight hundred thousand little pieces of paper; that are now ashes; that seems like a good couple million reasons to be angry-_ money, and work come between them.

He was angry; but now he is just numb; and he isn't sure when that will change; and he hasn't even had a single sip of this beer, and he regrets opening it, because he can't just jump in his car and go look for Lem; not that he knows where to start, because-if he wants to be honest, and he does tonight; because if not now, then when?-he doesn't really know Lem. And he never has.

And now he never will.

It's taken him years to think that he might understand what love is; but now he isn't sure at all, and he doesn't quite believe he ever will; because surely if he was in love he wouldn't have done Lem the way the others had; surely he would have been his first, and last line of defense-_but as usual that role goes to Vic; who seems to be their beginning and their end-_but instead he had been Shane's offensive.

And he isn't entirely sure what happened tonight; and he isn't sure he cares-_he's only thinking about two million, eight hundred thousand little pieces in the bottom of a fire downtown_-he just wants tonight to be over; because he is too numb to deal with this; too numb to pretend to care.

And he isn't sure it should hurt like this, when he realizes he will never fall in love.

There is nothing he can do about this; and he doesn't have anything to show for having had the side of his face held down against a stove burner (for a crime that had been committed when he wasn't even in the room!), and he realizes Lem thinks he did it for the good of them; but the good for him would be knowing he had that money if he ever needed it. And he doesn't think he can breathe right now.

And he realizes he doesn't want that phone to ring.

What is going to happen, he wonders, when Lem comes back here? When he sees Lem walk into work in the morning? What is he going to say? Because he doesn't care to forgive him; and he doesn't want to see him go, but he isn't going to try to hold on.

And the phone is ringing; and he doesn't reach out.

What would he say? And why? He doesn't know who they are right now; and he doesn't know if he should even care. Lem obviously didn't. Tonight he will climb into bed; and Lem won't climb in after him; he will get cold when he leaves the window open; and Lem won't be there to get up and shut it for him. He isn't going to have Lem anymore, he realizes.

It takes more effort than it should to reach out and pick up the phone.

It hasn't been that long since he talked to Lem; only a few hours, but the other man's voice sounds so foreign; so distant; and he almost doesn't recognize it. He almost doesn't care; but there's a voice in the back of his mind screaming that Lem is a friend; has been a friend; and he is scared and he is alone right now.

"Ronnie?"

It seems impossible to speak; and he realizes he needs to do so anyway, because he doesn't want Lem to go; and neither does Vic; and he knows if he can just get the words out things will resolve themselves in time; so it comes as a surprise when he hears his own words echoing in his ears;

"I don't think you should come back."

The line goes silent, and for a moment he thinks they've dropped signal; but then he realizes what he said; and that he said it aloud; and he waits, with bated breath, for Lem to respond.

"I am sorry, Ronnie." His voice is small; and Ronnie realizes he sounds like he's going to cry; and he realizes he just doesn't care,

"Yeah." He doesn't have to say anything else, because the line goes dead; and he is left looking at a television he isn't watching; holding a beer he isn't drinking; and holding a phone, which rings will go unanswered.

He is numb.


End file.
